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July 07, 2006
Anchor Aweigh
Most writers have no problem incorporating great dialogue in their stories because we know how much readers like to “eavesdrop” on our characters. In addition to engaging the reader, dialogue can:
• Advance the plot
• Bring our characters to life as unique individuals.
• Convey emotion
Dialogue is critical to a story’s success so we work hard to make it sound natural, to create distinctive voices and to give it punch. Sometimes we get so focused on getting the characters’ conversations right that we miss something very basic. It’s what I call “anchoring.”
Consider this exchange below:
“Trish, get your stuff off there.”
“Make me, Anne.”
“I’m telling.”
“Oh, I am so scared.”
“You’ll be scared if I do this.”
We do get a sense of these characters –two girls sharing a space, engaged in the eternal “keep your stuff on your side of the room” argument. And it’s not all that difficult to follow who’s saying what. But where are they saying it? Are they talking in a bedroom in Lincoln, Nebraska in 1954? A space ship circling Mars in 2097? A cabin at summer camp on Whidbey Island? Are they sisters? Friends? Complete strangers? While we don’t want to spoon-feed information to our readers, we also don’t want them dog-paddling through too many unknowns. The reader doesn’t know how to navigate this dialogue because it’s adrift in a sea of limitless possibilities.
Thankfully, the fix is easy: we can anchor this exchange with setting details, character stage action and appropriate speech tags. Anchoring creates a backdrop against which a conversation takes place.
• Setting details: Think zoom lens rather than telephoto here. You’ll want to include details that give a sense of the very particular place in which the conversation is taking place. If it’s in the bedroom, mention the bed. If it’s on a space ship, it might be a pod; at summer camp, you’d probably mention a cot or bunk.
• Character stage action: Put on your director’s hat. Here is where you move the characters around in their very particular space. Where are the girls in this space? What behaviors does Anne engage in to emphasize her point? What nonverbal communication does Trish use to convey her lack of concern over Anne’s issues? You’ve got the camera rolling on these two characters in this scene and film’s expensive: make what they do count.
• Speech tags: Even in an emotion-packed scene, rely on those old standards “said” and “asked.” Avoid the temptation to use tags to tell the story. To paraphrase Mark Twain, “If you catch an adverb, kill it.” Resist the temptation to write, “Trish, get your stuff off there,” said Anne angrily; or “Make me,” replied Trish sarcastically. The emotion of the scene, the words the characters use, and the way you anchor the dialogue with details and action will inform the reader about the emotional content of what’s being said.
Not to press this metaphor too far, but anchoring allows the reader to get their sea legs – or story legs – for smooth sailing through your story.
Let’s get back to our girls. Here’s one way to anchor their conversation:
“Trish, get your stuff off there.” Anne pointed at her bed. “Now.”
Trish slowly turned the page in the latest issue of People. “Make me.”
“I’m telling.”
“Oh, I am so scared.” Trish faked an elaborate yawn.
Anne started for the door. Something caught her eye. “You’ll be scared if I do this,” she said, picking up the empty band aid tin where her sister stashed her pot.
The words the girls used in each example are virtually the same. But now we can see them in their world as they have this argument. We’re right there in that bedroom as Trish taunts Anne and pushes her to an act of retaliation. We can see them moving around in their environment, as well as hear them. And it’s clear that Anne is upset and that Trish couldn’t care less.
Take at look at the story you’re working on. Do you have a section of dialogue that is adrift at sea? Anchor it with specific setting details, character stage action and appropriate speech tags and you’ll soon find yourself charting a course toward publication.
Posted by kirby at July 7, 2006 03:55 PM
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